


My Name Is Not Aurora

by Shanola (LFN_Archivist)



Category: La Femme Nikita
Genre: Gen, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 10:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LFN_Archivist/pseuds/Shanola
Summary: This story was originally posted to the LFN Storyboard Archives by Shanola.





	My Name Is Not Aurora

I saw Katia in the hallway. She was on her way to take care of Meyer, one of her 'regular's'. If she hadn't turned just so, I might not have seen the bruise until later and then things might have been different. Bruises aren't that unusual on the girls I work with but they usually don't sport them until _after_ the client has been serviced. Seeing that Kat was bruised, and knowing that she hadn't been with anyone for two weeks, I had to stop her and ask about it. 

I like Kat. She's a survivor. Even if she is a user. 

She looked up at me from the mop of auburn hair she hides behind, her dark eyes flashing anger, an emotion I hadn't seen in her for a long time. For a moment, I was surprised she still had that spark in her. Her words spewed out in a tumble of Gypsy Russian, so fast I had to stop her and make her start over. And even then it was difficult to catch everything. 

A new girl, she said, had attacked her in the Lounge. Over _Meyer_ , no less. No one had ever fought over him before. Kat didn't brag about him, but she also didn't show up dead after servicing him either. Still, why would a new girl cause a fuss over him? 

It didn't matter in the end. All that mattered was that Kat was hurt and now she was running a little late. I let her go, watching her battered form weave down the hall. From her tired stride, I knew she wouldn't last much longer. She had already been here a full year. In this business, that's a lifetime for most girls. For Kat, it was getting close to the end. 

I shuddered. I didn't like to think about Kat leaving. She was my friend, the only friend I allowed myself. Well, other than Otto. He's more bodyguard than friend, although we did get along very well. Almost joking on the rare occasions he asked for me. He was actually a little shy, which surprised me. What, did he think any of _us_ would care that he was hairless and pale, pale white? It's not like we compared sizes, either. He had nothing to worry about, though. Actually, I liked taking care of him more than Anagar, though I would never tell Anagar that. He would order me out of here so fast my head would spin. 

No, Otto was much more . . . tender. At times he even tried to see to it that I enjoyed it as much as he did. Anagar never did that. He treated me with all the respect I had earned. I was an object to him. I liked to think that Otto saw me as more than that. 

You have to understand the situation I was in. I had been in Anagar's 'Modeling Agency' for five years. I was big and clunky when I first got here, which actually served me well. Anagar selected me for the Pit on my first night. Guess I should be grateful for that: it saved me from the heroine addiction most of the girls sport. Don't get me wrong, the Pit wasn't easy. In fact, it was only my height advantage that saved me that day. Anagar seemed pleased; he took a personal interest in training me to please his clients. In any way they wanted. And I mean _any_ way they wanted. 

I won four Events before he renamed me Aurora. He liked the dawn, he said, and I was something new for him. He had never had a champion before. Then he laughed as he stroked my hair and said I was a dark dawn for him. I wasn't sure if he was referring to my dark hair and honey toned skin or the fact that I was killing for him. 

Whatever. It brought me status. I was given my own room and a selection of clothes to choose from. After the first year, I was given larger rooms and more clothes, plus I didn't have to sit in the Lounge for every customer. I could pick and choose. Mostly. 

But those things were _mine_. The rooms, the clothes, the selectivity, mattered to me. I had earned them lying on my back, crouched on my knees, performing in the Pit. The fear of my colleagues kept me strong, ruthless. It kept me alive. I had done depraved things to carve a niche for myself. I had come to rule my world the only way I could. I dominated it, allowing only a few chosen few inside. Katia was one of the few. 

So it was only natural that I feel rage for Kat's attacker. I could not let it rest. Who was this girl to come in and try and take over my world? What did she know? I straightened my shoulders and entered my room. I would not let this pass. One little slip like that could cause the world to crash. There was only room for me. 

I chose my outfit carefully. I wanted to make my dominance known immediately. I don't lie to myself, at least not about how I look. I know I'm a big girl, taller and stronger than most. My height, in fact, is what landed me here in the first place. I had been told I had the perfect height for modeling, but little else. It didn't matter that I knew three languages and could speak English without an accent. All that mattered was my starving brothers and sisters. I actually thought I could help them by coming here. And I guess I did in a way. They could have my portion of whatever our father managed to beg in the streets. 

What a fool I was. 

I will say that one good thing Anagar taught me was how to carry myself. I knew how to work a room after he was done with me. I used that knowledge as I stepped through the red glass beads into the Lounge. I could tell I was projecting well. None of the girls would meet my eye. Until I saw her, the new girl who had attacked Kat. 

She was blonde, which didn't surprise me. Blonde is easy is come by and with the proper technique, you can't even tell it's faked. She was seated next to her little 'friend'. I stood in front of her, trying to read her. She didn't stand, but I could tell she was tall. Not as tall as me, but the closest I had ever seen in another female. 

I didn't like what I learned about her during our confrontation. She remained sprawled on the chaise in front of me. She met my eyes as I talked to her and I saw no fear in them at all. It was uncanny. Looking into her sky- blue eyes I saw freedom. She seemed to know me. 

I would have to kill her. 

But things had to be done a certain way here. I had to wait until I could meet her in the Pit. I was trying to be nice, really, by confronting her in the Lounge. I wanted to give her a chance to back off, to understand that this wasn't a game. It was real. Death was real and it was coming. 

But then she said something that pierced through my carefully constructed veneer of invincibility. She said it softly, but the weight of the words carried power. 

"So what are you doing down here?" she asked. 

I looked at her, debating on how much to tell her. "I go where I want." 

She almost smiled as she replied, "That's because you're good at what you do." A beat passed before she continued, "You're good at killing other women for the pleasure of perverted men. Right?" 

My heart stopped as her words hammered into it. What had she just said to _me_? I couldn't believe it. With one simple sentence she had stripped away all my defenses and exposed my naked soul to her blue-eyed gaze. 

I didn't like it. Not at all. How could she know what it was like? Had she ever had to fight for her very breath? I didn't think so. You couldn't understand this life until you had lived it for a little while. Who was she to say something like that to me? Who was she to come in and pass judgement on something she knew nothing about? 

She would find out soon enough. I would make sure of it. She would find out she wasn't better than the rest of us. She would find out she was _one_ of us instead. 

Slamming my shields back into place, I answered her. "When they put you into the Pit, you'll do whatever you have to. Just like me." 

We exchanged no more words then. I left her seated, my point made. She watched me walk out of the room. I know because I paused at the smooth glass beads covering the door and looked back at her defiant face. 

No cowardice showed on her face. But I wondered about her little friend. The girl was young and stupid, else she wouldn't be here. Why would Blue-Eye's have taken such a protective stance toward her? 

Whatever the reason, it was a weakness. I could use that. 

And I did. I went back to my rooms and began to set the matches for the next day. This was something Anagar allowed me to do on a regular basis. Occasionally, he would come in and change something, a name here for this one or that one. But mostly he trusted me. After all, I knew the girls better than he did. 

I sent Otto to inform the girls that the Pit would be open tomorrow. Anagar didn't know I did that on a regular basis, too. He didn't need to know. But the girls had a right to know. And it gave them a chance to prepare. Last rites and all that. We may have to die, but we could die ready. It put the ordeal more on our own terms. 

I liked to think that, at least. 

I dressed in black the next day. Black Bra and black wrap-around leaving my midriff bare. I pulled my hair back and carefully applied my make-up, just the way Anagar like me to wear it. Then I went with Otto into the Lounge. 

Of course I knew who I was after, but it wouldn't do to just walk in and grab her. I wanted each girl to know that I could be after her. It added to my image and kept them from causing trouble. 

I came around to Blue-Eyes. She was seated and watching two Beta fish on the table in front of her. When I approached, she met my eyes totally unafraid of what I might say. It wouldn't be long before she would come to fear what all this drama meant. She would break. 

I looked at the fierce fish in front of her. Separate for their own safety until I poured the blue Beta fish into the red one's glass. Then I moved to Otto. I looked at Blue-Eyes, then at her little friend. 

"That one," I pointed out to Otto. I turned to leave but I heard the girl call out a name. 

"Nikita!" She was obviously afraid, but if Blue-Eyes responded I was too far away to hear her. 

I watched as the girl was taken from the Lounge then turned to my nemesis. I smiled at her, knowing I had won this first battle. 

As I left though, I felt that I had lost. I don't know why, but it bothered me that Blue-Eyes had a name. I knew the girls had names, but they had been assigned to them. It made it easier knowing that they weren't real names. It put distance between us, made us less, somehow. 

But Blue-Eyes was not one of us, that much was clear to me. She had her own name and her own brand of something that I couldn't quite figure out. She confused me and angered me and deep down, I had to admit, she scared me. 

I hadn't been scared in a long time. 

I pushed the thoughts from my mind as I picked out outfits for the next Pit Event. Nikita's friend was small, but Katia was not much larger. I dressed Kat in green, knowing it would offset her Auburn hair for the few minutes it was dry. I put the new girl in iridescent black and silver, a plunging neckline lined in beads. 

I was allowed to watch the Event this time. Sometimes, Anagar makes me watch with him. He gets incredibly turned on occasionally and he likes my mouth to 'help' him. That way, I can just swallow the mess. This time, he left me alone. 

It was a good match. Katia prevailed of course, but Nikita's friend held her own for a little while. She was scared but she fought well. She may have even won if Kat hadn't got in that lucky blow. 

Experience, I guess. 

When I left, Katia was being pulled from the water. The dead girl floated, peaceful. 

I was thinking of the Beta fish as I dressed. I chose red for myself and kept my hair pulled back. I didn't like it in my eyes while in the Pit. Nikita, I put in blue. I don't know why, I just couldn't picture her in anything else but blue. It suited her, somehow. And I don't just mean her eyes. She had a blue aura surrounding her. 

I hate blue. It reminds me of freedom. 

I sent Otto for Nikita as I dressed. Funny, I don't remember when I started using her name. But I wouldn't have to use if for long, one way or the other. In an hour, one of us would be free. 

She stepped into the Hall first. I followed a few seconds later. As Champion, it was my honor to step in last. We looked at each other for a moment before walking to our respective steps. Once we reached the top, the Pit's lights came on, illuminating the blue water. We stood there and I was aware of the smell of chlorine and incense as well as the eyes staring down from the balcony above. Otto mounted the steps behind Nikita and pushed her in. Habit, I think. Not many first-timer's jump in on their own. I didn't need help. I jumped in and the Event began. 

I can't describe what happened. How can anyone describe something like that? It's mostly just images in my head. I don't think when I'm in the Pit, I just act or react. Thinking is not necessary. The whole point is to drown the other girl. Only one is allowed to come out of the water. Very rarely, neither is allowed out. Even more rarely, one dying girl takes the other with her. 

The Pit is like playing the children's game 'Dunking' in a swimming pool. Only, you don't let the other person come up after you've gotten their head wet. You just hold them and feel them relax, then struggle as the first mouthful of water enters their lungs. They sort of shudder, then relax again as they give up. Then the winner gets out and changes and goes back to the Lounge. 

Some may wonder why we don't just knock the other one unconscious with a firm punch to the jaw. Have you ever been chest-deep in water and tried to hit someone? It's not as easy as it looks. You can't plant yourself on firm ground so you have no body weight to put behind a punch. It's hard to punch that high too. It just doesn't cut it. 

The fight against Nikita went well. She was stronger than I anticipated; we were well matched. It lasted longer than most of the Events I had been in. I had experience on my side, of course, and I was winning. I could feel the victory in my hands. But she bit me and I involuntarily let go. I smirked to myself at that. She was learning that she would do anything to survive the pit. 

I don't know what happened to turn the momentum. Suddenly, she was behind me, holding me under. I struggled, certain I break free. But I didn't. I became desperate, clutching at her hands and arms, crying for air. 

She didn't let go. 

And then it didn't matter to me. For the first time in the Pit, I didn't care anymore. So what if I was left floating in the blue water? Blue was freedom. Death was freedom. _I could be free!_

I laughed to myself as the black spots dancing in front of my eyes began to merge. Nikita was indeed learning what it took to survive the Pit. 

Just 

Like 

Me 

Then I was up and breathing sweet, sweet air. It hurt my burning lungs, then eased them. I took in more of it, over and over, establishing a pattern. Breathing. 

I was alive. Nikita was alive. How could this be? What was going on? 

_She had spared me._

She had shown me mercy. 

Otto was yelling at her to kill me. Otto, a man I considered a friend. I couldn't believe it. He wanted me dead! Why weren't they demanding that I kill Nikita? Why did they want her to kill me? 

I looked at her. If she wanted me dead, she could have me dead. Something had broken inside of me. I suddenly saw my world for what it was. Killing other women for the pleasure of perverted men. I didn't want it anymore. 

But I would take it if it was given to me. 

Nikita obviously didn't kill me. I was lifted out of the Pit and allowed to stand on the floor. Nikita was pushed back into the water. 

The cover began to lower. She was trapped. I saw the moment when she realized it. She almost panicked then gained control of herself and began to look for a way out. There was none. Otto pushed her back into the water. 

I watched, mesmerized and amazed that they would kill Nikita. Didn't they know what she had taught me? Couldn't they see that though I thought of myself as the teacher, I had become the student? 

I didn't know how to help her. I watched her drown instead. It only took a few desperate moments. I couldn't lift my eyes from her battle. I had never seen anything like it before. 

She was beautiful. Then she was still, and they lifted the cover. I wanted to cry, but couldn't remember how. 

Otto, that two-faced bastard, reached to pull her from the water. Then the miraculous happened; Nikita moved, quickly pulling Otto's gun and shooting him the chest. In slow motion, he tumbled over her, splashing softly into the blue freedom of the Pit. 

I backed against the wall, amazed. A client stepped in the door next to me and fired a gun. I was so shocked, I didn't even jump. 

Nikita had pulled herself from the water as the client continued to shoot more guards as he stepped past me. She checked the gun, and looked at me. 

"You know how to use this?" I nodded and stepped past the 'client' to retrieve the gun she held out. I had seen Otto use the gun enough. I would figure it out. 

"Find Anagar. Kill him. The guards will clear out," she spoke firmly as she stripped off her skirt, leaving her in blue panties and top. "Free the other girls. Help them get home." She stood, then walked by me to the 'client' waiting for her. 

I couldn't let her just walk out of my life. Not after all I had done to her. Especially not after all she had done for me. Did she know what that was? 

I grabbed her arm as she pattered past. She paused and looked at me. Really looked at _me_. In my entire life, I think she was the only one to really see me. Staring into her eyes, I could see she understood. She knew everything about me. And she didn't hate me for the things I had done. 

"Thank you." It wasn't enough, but it was all I could say. 

She gripped my arm in understanding, then left with the man. In a moment I was alone in the Hall. 

I had to do it. I had to face what I had become. Slowly, I mounted the steps to the Pit. From Nikita's side. I had to do it from her side. I had to see it from her perspective. I liked her side of things. She was cleansing. 

I stared down at Otto floating in the blue water of death. This was where I had changed. This was where I had become a murderer. I had killed many women, but worst of all, I had killed myself. Who was I now? Was I worthy to be anything or anyone? Nikita thought so. She had given me a charge, a responsibility. 

I heard a sound in the balcony behind me. 

"Aurora!" It was Anagar. 

I hated that name as much as the name he had given me. I hated the way he called out. I hated this place and the Pit and I hated myself. But mostly, I hated him. 

And why did I murder myself all those years ago? Because of him. The object of my destruction. He had killed my hope and dreams just as surely as I had let him. 

But I would take them back. I would not be Aurora any longer. 

I turned. He stood there, glaring at me. Until I raised the gun and fired. Not once, but five times. Once for each year I had been here. He fell, fear still etched on his face. 

Fear. He had no idea. 

I turned back to the pit. 

I would free Katia. I would free them all. And then I would make sure that there were no other Anagar's around. I didn't know how, but I knew I would do it. 

No one should have to live like I had. 

Not even me.


End file.
